okayyyyy i know i know it's the last event..and yes my exams are overr..and i have no stress from school work for the next 3 months..
but, truth be told, i am really ONLY half-heartedly MAKING MYSELF DO THIS.
it seems like a burden now. really. and yes i know this feeling's been there for awhile now but as of this moment, it's never been stronger.
i want to be OUT of this. everything. nothing to do with me. nothing i'm responsible for. nothing i'm in charge of nothing that i have to PAY for nothing that i have to SACRIFICE for. NO MORE. i'm tired. i'm SO SICK of this.
but, i have no choice.
it's just 3months plus more. sounds simple. but NO! because i am the leader this time. and if i dont do a good job, people will LOOK at me and POINT the blame at me.
i'm just doing this to save my own ass. i have to do a good job. or else i'm just...i don't know..outcasted? blamed? blacklisted? cursed maybe.
ah damn it. my BRAIN must have gone WRONG when i even had the IDEA to try for it.
hmph.TRY. yea well yeejin now you know:
THIS, is a lesson learnt.
-i should have seen this coming-